Joy and parenting: Partners or paradox?
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Abstract
Positive psychology has suggested that being a parent contributes to joy through four avenues. It provides meaning and purpose, satisfies a basic human need, engenders positive emotions, and expands parents’ social roles. This essay explores each of these through psychological and Torah perspectives, as well as considering the pathways to joy outside of parenting and the need for communal sensitivity to those unable or uninterested in becoming parents. The essay also provides suggestions on how to better welcome joy into parenting. By seeing beyond the mundane tasks of parenting and resonating regularly with the miracle of creation and in finding fulfillment even as children struggle, recognizing that even failures are a critical part of growth, parents can invite joy into their days. The novelty, spontaneity, learning, and laughter that are frequent visitors in parents’ lives, as well as the welcoming roles and social opportunities raising children offer can also be vehicles to create and boost joy. Parental joy is a natural outgrowth of spirituality—the capacity for awe, and the gratefulness for the miracles which grace our lives.